Looking for the perfect orgasm?...
Then STOP right now! Too much stressing over the big O could be ruining your sex life...
What phrase, apart from "Cheers love, see you around," is the worst your boyfriend can utter straight after sex? It is, of course, "Did you come?" Just 3 little words, but a world of pressure. If you say no, you fell a failure, if you say yes and you didn't , you're lying.
Despite the fact that most men suggest that an orgasm is just a push button away; the truth is that sometimes, actually coming is as easy as threading a needle with a piece of string. However hard you try, it's just not going to happen.
How did we come to believe that orgasm is the only proof of decent sex? While for men it usually is as simple as ABC (Accelerate, Brake, Come) that doesn't mean we should feel we've somehow failed if we can' do the same.
Physically, emotionally and socially, sex is an entirely different experience for women. And the harder we chase the elusive orgasm, the more we find our enjoyment of the physical sensations ebbing away, and being replaced by and uncomfortable feeling of stress and let down.
Most women don't orgasm the first time they have sex with a guy - in fact plenty need to give their long-term boyfriend and intensive training course before they stand a chance of having their clitoris approached in the right way.
* Names have been changed.
